Ah, these few words “it’s just a phase” they sum up so much for me – children who need extra guidance (even if they don’t want it), a struggle, shouting and tears. It almost always leaves me doubting in my parental abilities. Although at the worst part of “a phase”, I do know from experience that we’re about to turn a corner.
My latest battleground seems to be trying to remove two traits in children I really don’t like – rudeness and being selfish/spoilt. My children speak to me in a way I would never have dared to, to my parents. When I say “come on let’s have breakfast” the reply is a grumpy “no” from them both as they walk off in the other direction. If I pick up the laptop, then it’s “when can I have a go” being asked repeatedly (and I do mean repeatedly). If I ask them to help by getting out bowls, plates etc then it’s “why do I always have to do it all?” (at least this one makes me laugh!!) My daughter is of the opinion that I know nothing and has to double check that I’ve done what I should have done; not so bad in itself, however the tone she uses is very unhelpful.
Whilst trying to get them to walk the mile to school in the snow last week, the whole process took two hours, with all the coercing needed just to get out of the door, walking and then once at school. I have to say that they both did really well. However, on arrival Daughter announced that her new shoes (the ones we’d bought the evening before and were classed as “great”) suddenly did not fit. The staff were amazing, read my rather desperate expression, or maybe it was “I’m going to get really angry” look, and led her off in the other direction!
So, the time has come for the Star Charts to re-appear. There will be no film night, no visits to the sweet shop, no computer time nor Wii time until their behaviour improves. I’ve not made it easy either, the targets are higher and there is a chance that film night on Friday may be missed. I foresee tears. My only hope is that lessons are learned and this phase is over sooner rather than later!.
Wish me luck!
This blog is part of Sarah Miles’ The Monday Club