Well, first day of the summer term, and it’s definitely had a Monday feel to it. The morning started with a work call at 06.30 which needed about half an hour to sort out – various calls all round the world to try to get the problem solved. It turned out that someone missed a flight and, in fact, had they thought about it, they could have told me at 17.00 the day before!! That sorted, and my children left to get themselves up, dressed and breakfasted, left a slightly stressful time of catch-up and getting ready. The children were amazing and just got on with it, however Daughter, who does not like sharing me with work, said “maybe you shouldn’t have children, Mummy”. Ouch, and with that I broke down in tears. One, slightly confused 6 year old, did not realise what a heart wrenching comment that was and began to cry. After lots of hugs, we agreed that we would need armbands if the tears did not stop soon, and calmly got on with the job in hand of breakfast, and getting to school.
After school was a rush to pick up a couple of their friends for a playdate and I decided to make brownies for pudding. Somehow my full-proof receipe was also susceptible to Monday, and failed. After supper lots of dancing and games and, unfortuantely, a bump to Son – led to a teary goodbye. Telly soon soothed the sitation and a quiet game of lego – how high can you build a tower? The answer – taller than a 4 year old, but not a 6 year old.
Little ones now in bed, and I am still reeling – writing this with tears in my eyes as I wonder if working full time, and having to put children second is really worth it? A massive question, that I’m not sure I can answer. We don’t live in a city, there are not loads of job and mine fits very well with Husband’s. I must count my blessings – but today that feels like that is a very big ask. Life and how to live it? – is a big question.
As Husband is home later tonight, so I’ll either hit the wine, cry, stare at the telly, or simply go to bed and get rid of today. Enough, as I say to the children.
Tomorrow can only get better….. I’m glad to say it did!